Louisa Enright's Blog

Mainely Tipping Points

Turkey Tracks: The World Series

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Turkey Tracks:  October 27, 2013

The World Series

I love baseball.

But I never watch it on tv unless, now that I live in Maine, the Boston Red Sox are playing in The World Series.

One must support the Boston Red Sox if one lives in Maine.

And that’s ok.  I can do that.  Because I do love baseball.  I was probably taught to love it by my younger sister, Jamie Philpott Howser, who married Dick Howser’s younger brother, Larry.  Dick started as a third baseman for the NY Yankees, went on to manage them, and went from there to taking the Kansas City Royals to the only World Series win in their history–or so says Wikipedia.

So, it’s safe to say that I have not actually watched a major league baseball game in…more years than I might want to say.

Can I say that I have deeply shocked at how BIG most of these baseball guys are.

So I’ve been studying this bigness.  And I’ve decided in most cases here, BIG means FAT.

I will state up front that these guys are amazing athletes.  Watching baseball is like watching a cat stalk a prey.  It’s all quiet and stillness and creeping until–BAM–the action unfolds lightening fast.  Such was certainly the case in last night’s third game where all changed for the Red Sox in less than the 30 seconds at the end of the game.  (I still would like to see an instant replay of that last call–from several different angles.)

Aha!  The runner did beat the ball.  The call was obstruction back at the third base.  Seemed to me to be more about two big guys running into each other…  But, I am a novice, so what do I know?

But watching this game has produced the realization anew that Americans have more than gone round some sort of bend into obesity.  These guys look pumped up with a bicycle pump, as my mother used to say.  Their faces are shiny smooth and as round as melons.  And their legs and buts are HUGE–they look like Mack Trucks.  Or, what?  Gladiators would be the kind of word that might lend itself to thinking this over-developed body is ok.  The giveaway is their bellies.  Start counting how many have bellies overhanging whatever they use to hold up pants.  Wheat Bellies and what?  Steroids?

Probably someone will tell me that all the statistical data shows that the game is faster, bigger, better, etc., now.  That may be true.  But what does it do to a heart to play at this level when one is so unnaturally BIG?  That’s my question.  Many of these guys are in their early twenties.  It’s a long, long way to sixty or seventy from there says this old woman.

I’m shocked at this new “normal.”

The Red Sox are in a hole now.  I don’t know if I can watch them try to crawl out.  They need a few BAMS for sure.

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